Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) by Sassyquatch — 01 Jun 2017
I'm not sure if my complete and utter boredom with this film is a result of a bad mood I was in upon seeing it or a result of the film itself. Somehwere along the way however I was just done with this movie.
It landed in the no-go area of not being anything too good or too bad. It wasn't memorable. In fact, I forgot most of what happened in the movie when I left the theatre. The pacing is ridiculously off.
The first half or so of the film feels like exposition. The unlikely trio only set off on their quest in the last hour or so. When they finally get going, it feels like nothing happens besides cliche and completely unbelievable dramatic dialogues wherein the characters spell out for you some plot point in clunky wordage (or in oddly placed and overstayed memory sequences).
Every bloated and overly explicit dramatic dialogue piece (matched only by the odd shift to blue humor dialogue) dragged on in what felt like an eternity. It felt like watching a formula: dramatic dialogue + action sequence + dramatic dialogue+ action sequence.
.. ad infinitum. For all its movement it didn't feel like it was going anywhere. The action felt inconsequential since you know the way it will turn out (Captain Jack will pull some wacky trick out of his hat).
The movie didn't make us care about the characters in new ways. It just shamelessly plugged the tired, old formula (and in less style than its predecessors). Lastly, you could really tell that Johnny Depp was not fully invested in this role.
His acting seems slightly 'off' (who can blame him) and the writing for his character has him revel as a drunkard for most of the film, never hashing out what could have been a meaningful character arc for the familiar character, electing instead to never show the audience the significance of the story to Jack.
It astounded me how little Jack seemed to care about being there; he was not the only one. I really wasn't expecting much from this movie. Unfortunately, it did nothing to change my mood going into it.
In fact, it did the worst thing a movie can do: it met all my expectations.
This review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) was written by Sassyquatch on 01 Jun 2017.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales has generally received mixed reviews.
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