Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) by Hirdannen — 26 May 2017

Well, there are still Pirates out there. I didn't like the 4th installment, with Blackbear[d] (pun intended), I can't even remember correctly the story, other than "It was pointless". I went to see the 5th because frankly I like Javier Bardem and I knew I was going to enjoy seeing him on the screen, even if the movie is worthless.

Well, I expected worse. This is still an over-the-top movie with Johnny Depp in it, Cameo appearances from Orlando/Keira and a young couple which tries to be the real stars of the show. Henry (the boy/ son of Orlando Bloom) is pretty much well... uninteresting. He has a clear motivation, but nothing much than that. Carina (the girl/ daughter of Barbossa [which we understand only at the end]) was more interesting (is that because I'm a guy ?). She's the only character taking herself seriously and is involved with the emotional stuff ("I found my lost father, only to lose him a few seconds later"), which you may or may not like. I think it's more the actress that stands out more than the role, since what's stuck in my memory is her widely open blue eyes. So I'm not sure if the character itself is so interesting... Everything is over-the-top in PotC, even the serious issues. That's to be expected.

Costumes and design are wonderful imo. It does add to the over-the-top.

Javier Bardem does his job as the Boogeyman and has more screen-time than anybody else, even leading to some insights about Jack Sparrow's past and nickname. However I expected a more frightening presence from the "Dead" members of his crew. They just looked like half the invisible man and half Edward Scissorhands for the most part. I liked the character only because it was one of my favorite actors in the role, not because of the character itself.

Also I had one jump-scare, completely unexpected (as did everyone else in the theater).

Is this movie good ? Well no, but it's not worse than the last one. It's a little improvement, but maybe it would be time to put to rest the franchise, no ?

Yeah I know, this is not really a helpful critic. But at least you know now there is nothing unexpected in this movie (except one specific moment).