Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) by Maurel B — 23 Sep 2017

There has never been a truly awful, awful entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. But there's only ever been one that was truly any good. Dead Men Tell No Tales does nothing to alter these assertions.

I would not begrudge anybody who enjoyed their time with this latest Pirates movie, particularly anyone who saw it on the big screen, there's the zany action romps that the series has been famous for from the get go (and that started wearing thin on me after the second one) and some truly spectacular visuals including shiny rocks and zombie sharks (which I will refrain from making a joke about jumping). But where Dead Men Tell No Tales fails harder than anywhere else is in its dialogue. Virtually every line is uncomfortable to hear delivered, and I can't see myself looking forward to the inevitable sixth instalment.