Review of Piranha 3DD (2012) by Lindsey W — 16 Sep 2012

Normally I would open this review up with a witty phrase or a one liner about a movie, but not this time. Mostly because I have nothing else to say about this other than typing up something as stupid as, "This movie bites!" or "Do you smell something fishy in there?" But no matter what stupid line I say this week, I bet it will be a lot better than this piece of crap of a sequel. There's nothing funny about Piranha 3DD and no reason to make a comment. If you want something to take a shit in 3D then this is your kind of movie. This movie puts its cards on the table immediately where it was trying to be a good/bad movie, but there is barely a plot to construct on and a few guest cameos that do not quite work out at all (except for Christopher Lloyd).

The opening scene starts with Gary Busey and a lame fart joke that did not work at all. I'm sorry to say this, but Gary Busey seemed lost in this movie and probably didn't know why he is in this other than cashing in a quick pay check. Speaking of lost, Christopher Lloyd is in this and he is the only actor I truly felt sorry for. He is pretty much doing the exact same thing, in the previous film, with his Doc Brown acting with the exact same lines. David Koechner, playing the crooked water park owner, is an absolute phony in this. Let's not forget about David Hasselhoff who has nothing but Bay Watch jokes that are really over used. Although once he is in the movie, he is in the movie. He is a full on character even though he is playing a parody of himselfAlso, I was expecting these piranhas to tear people's flesh off to the bone, but I never got that. Instead what I see is a bunch of point-of-view shots of these fish biting people in the legs and arms. Overall, despite how bad this movie is I think I still kind of enjoyed this. It is never boring, but an apex of badness in movies that is so consistantely terrible in every way that you can fuck up a film and yet giving it a very hard R-rating. It's the kind of movie where you can kill an hour and ten minutes (yes that is the total clock time) and laugh at it. I found it kind of strangely mesmerized throughout the whole thing Which is why I give this an one star rating.