Review of Piranha 3DD (2012) by Tom R — 07 Sep 2012

(1 Star) Piranha DD... ugh. It's a failure as a sequel, as horror, as comedy, and as a movie. The first Piranha was so funny but this one is just sad. Christopher Lloyd is the only good part of this movie and he's only in a couple scenes. The gore is nowhere as awesome, the jokes are putrid (and they repeat them; there's only so many times that slow motion is funny), the characters are stock and stupid as hell, and it's barely a movie as the last ten minutes are terrible outtakes and extremely long end credits. Even though the first was extremely campy, it had a great cast that included Elisabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfus, and Eli Roth... this one has Gary Busey and about a million horrible David Hasselhoff jokes. Who honestly thinks Davide Hasselhoff is cool? They tried to doing for him what they did for Mike Tyson in The Hangover, but it's eye-rolling and an embarrassing waste of time.

The first was smutty, but it was a great self-parody. DD removed all of the funny and upped the smut to unenjoyable levels. There's three editors for this turkey and it shows... there are a lot of scenes that feel rushed. I can't remember any of the teen character names; they're all the same stupid dead teenager character you've seen in a million slasher flicks. Piranha DD is stupid, but not the amusing kind of stupid... it's infuriating. Making a sequel to a fun campy movie shouldn't be this awful. I was not expecting a good movie; I was expecting a funny imitation and they failed.