Review of Piranha 3D (2010) by Writefilmlive21 — 09 Dec 2012

"Piranha 3D" is sick. Just plain, straight-up sick. Instead of a simple, undercooked B-horror flick like I was expecting (I did not see any marketing for this movie), I was instead subjected to the most over-the-top and exaggerated ninety minutes of perverted adolescent pandering I've seen in my life.

For the love of God, Michael Bay would be ashamed to have his name on this thing, and he dumped fat dead people down city streets in "Bad Boys II". When it's not insulting your genitals with shamelessly objectified nudity, or piranhas chowing down on penises and breast implants, it's bleeding your eyes with the most overdone gorefests ever manufactured on film.

Am I really supposed to find humor in a bunch of spring break teenagers getting chewed, bitten, torn, ripped and shredded to the bone? Am I supposed to laugh when a girl breaks in half while being carried to safety, or when the camera looks over all the half-eaten cadavers? Am I supposed to be entertained when a half-assed villain devoid of any and all character or human relatability comes crawling onto a deck with meaty twigs for legs? No.

Absolutely not.