Review of Piranha 3D (2010) by Justinsmith — 26 Sep 2010

Do you like gore? Do you breasts? Do you like fish? Well, then step right up for Piranha 3D, one of the best horror B-movies this side of the silver screen.

It's spring break at Lake Victoria, where alcohol, women in bikinis, and electro/house music can be seen and heard all around. Meanwhile, an earthquake beneath the lake releases prehistoric flesh eating piranha into the spring break action where Jake (Steven R. McQueen) has a crush on Kelly (Jessica Szohr), but Jake's mom, Julie (Elisabeth Shue), who happens to be the local sheriff, leaves Jake in charge of babysitting his younger brother and sister while she takes care of business down at the lake, however, thanks to a chance encounter with Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell), the brains behind (are you ready for this?) Wild Wild Girls, Jake leaves his siblings at home while he acts as location scout for Derrick and his crew, which consists of cameraman, Andrew (Paul Scheer), and Wild Wild Girls, Danni (Kelly Brook) and Crystal (Riley Steele). As you might have guessed, Kelly drops by just in time to join the fun.

Piranha 3D delivers as much gore and female nudity as you can possibly fit into an R-rated film, and then some. Between the onslaught of gore and breasts there are a few entertaining cameos, including Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper, the drunken fisherman who definitely needs a bigger boat, Christopher Lloyd as Mr. Goodman, the scientist who makes a disturbing discovery about the piranha, and my personal favorite, Eli Roth, in a great scene as Wet T-Shirt Host (that's the actual credit), I think the name says it all. Also, Ving Rhames, who always delivers a memorable performance, appears as an officer alongside Elisabeth Shue, and Adam Scott brings great energy to his character as the leader of an underwater research team.

Although I enjoy breasts and gore in 3D as much as the next guy (or girl, lets not be sexist here), the use of post conversion 3D (instead of filming in 3D) detracts from its effectiveness in some scenes. Other scenes, however, still looked good, despite the post conversion.

Although there are several seasoned actors in the cast, the best performance is delivered by Jerry O' Connell, who was born to play the role of the sleazy fast-talking Derrick Jones, who can, as Andrew mentions, talk the pants right off of any girl. The high energy, and cocaine fulled, excitement which motivates Connell's character, is every bit as hilarious as it is well acted.

Speaking of Wild Wild Girls, due to the number of topless (and sometimes bottomless) actresses in Piranha 3D, Mr. Skin's Skincyclopedia is going to need to an entire chapter dedicated to this film. Kelly Brook and Riley Steele's nude aquatic ballet (they're not completely nude, they're wearing fins, but I doubt you'll notice) is one of the most memorable, and enjoyable, scenes.

Although the gore is intense, and there is a lot of it, the filmmakers know how to keep you laughing while the waters run red with blood. Piranha 3D is a fun movie that will keep you entertained with its characters, keep you covering your eyes with its gore, and keep you glued to the screen with its beautiful women.