Review of Piranha 3D (2010) by Paul D — 16 Jan 2012

If you have no desire to see gore-galore and gratuitous nudity then don't see Piranha, it holds about as much value to you as Pride and Prejudice does to adolescent boys. If you have no desire to read about gore-galore and gratuitous nudity then don't continue on past this sentence, there's not much else I can talk about in this review. Those of you still reading out of sheer curiosity, you have been warned.

The latest horror remake from director Alexandre Aja, following on from The Hills Have Eyes and Mirrors, has a distinct advantage over said precursors: it has tongue planted firmly in cheek. In fact, I would argue that Aja's Piranha isn't a horror flick at all. The violence on offer - a poor girl's face is ripped clean off thanks to her hair being stuck in a motor, another nubile lass dies after being decapitated in half but not before showing her displeasure in what has just happened, a piranha chomps its way out of the mouth of yet another unlucky lady, and the list goes on - is designed to make you laugh, or at least scoff, at its ludicrousness, not to sicken or frighten you. True, you may jump a few times due to the whiplash score, but even then the immediate reaction afterwards is to chuckle at your own silliness in being spooked so easily.

It helps that the screenplay is so gleefully impudent. Scripters Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg know exactly how bonkers the premise is and they have a blast milking it for all it's worth. Featuring a pair of fan-pleasing cameos - Dreyfuss is a good sport in his pre-title scene and Lloyd hams it up nicely in a couple of "Great Scott" moments - and plenty of winks and nods to previous fishy horrors, I found it hard to wipe the grin off my face. Throw in a few additional crazy things like completely-naked-and-extremely-hot-female-porno-stars kissing underwater to the sound of classical piece 'The Flower Duet' and projectile vomit coming right at you (the 3D is actually pretty decent) and you have a bona fide guilty pleasure.

A popcorn flick of the highest order.

3.5 out of 5 (1 - Rubbish, 2 - Ordinary, 3 - Good, 4 - Excellent, 5 - Classic).