Review of Piranha 3D (2010) by Amy M — 16 Jan 2012

Everybody's talking about how dumb this movie is. Your mama. Your daddy. Your critic. Well, not to insult your mama, but I disagree. This movie is brilliant. Do prehistoric fish having survived millions of years through cannibalism make sense? No! Does Jerry O'Connell sitting on the deck of his boat talking even though his lower body is for all intents and purposes missing make sense? No! Does this movie's mere existence make any sense? Hell no!

But it's smart. It knows exactly what it wants to do, what it needs in order to do it. And it does. It delvers. This remake of a 1978 rip-off creature feature pulsates with the unabashed sense of fun that was a hallmark of the Eighties.

The movie looks terrific. No movie in recent memory has a color palette that can touch 'Piranha''s. That may seem like a strange place to start, but this is a movie so overflowing with eye candy that it doesn't need to rely on its buxom ladies or gory effects (of which there are many) to be visually interesting. So when you add all those buxom ladies and gory effects into the mix, you've got a cocktail potent enough to resurrect the gorehound in me I thought, surely, had died.

Then there's the plethora of hat-tippings to horror fans. You've got Richard Dreyfuss in a cameo as his character from 'Jaws.' Awesome. You've got Ving Rhames as a self-sacrificial hero cop. Awesome. You've got Jerry O'Connell as a character named after his in 'Scream 2.' Awesome. Christopher Lloyd as an eccentric scientist and Elisabeth Shue as the supermom? You bet your ass those are awesome. There are so many little homages and allusions and instances of audience service I couldn't list them all if I knew them.

But you don't have to know them, either. Sure, your mama may be right: thematically, these are shallow waters in which we're wading. That does nada to lessen the amount of fun you'll have during this movie. The visuals are stunning, the viscera visceral. The characters are relatable and the pacing is impeccable, and the cast is committed. Each of these qualities combine to make what should have been a sure-fire stinker one of the most watchable and rewatchable films of 2010. For horror fans both casual and hardcore, 'Piranha' is a pure joy.