Review of Pieces (2003) by David L — 12 Oct 2008

The basic plot of this Spanish entry in the slice 'n' dice craze of the 70's and 80's has a sadistic, maniacal fiend carving up cute co-eds - mostly with a chainsaw - for the purpose of using their body parts to create a human jigsaw puzzle. An inept pair of detectives (Christopher George and Frank Brana) send an undercover cop (Georges' wife Lynda Day George) in as a tennis instructor in addition to recruiting the services of supposedly studly student Kendall (Ian Sera). But they are no match for this particular psycho!

Shamelessly crass, sleazy, and lovably disgusting, extremely gory horror movie is so bad its good. Yes, it's that kind of film. Dialog and acting are pretty bad, all right, and the music downright silly at times. Then again, none of us watch this sort of film hoping for Oscar worthy material. It's just plain old blood-squirting-everywhere 100% pure fun. Plus, we get such hysterical show-stopping scenes such as a kung fu instructor popping in for no good reason just because the producer of this film was also making those kinds of films at the time. Bonus: the politically incorrect humor has the guy blaming his attack on "bad chop suey". This writing is priceless! Hulking Paul L. Smith (of "Midnight Express" and "Popeye" fame) is a highly amusing presence as the campus gardener, who fights it out with the cops - again, for no good reason. I also can't let this review go by without a mention of the funniest utterances of the word "bastard" in motion picture history.

This is like I said just so-bad-it's-good or so-ridiculous-it's-fantastic depending on your point of view. It's recommended for gore hounds everywhere who are looking for a film that they can't possibly take seriously.