Review of Pieces (1982) by Steve M — 26 Mar 2006

(Split Rating: :rotten: (4/10) if viewed as a horror film, but :fresh: (7/10) if viewed as a comedy!).

[b]Pieces[/b].

Starring: Christopher George, Frank Brana, Linda Day, Paul Smith, Frank Brana, Edmund Purdom, Paul Smith, Jack Taylor, and Ian Sera.

Director: Juan Piquer Simon.

Someone is cutting up beautiful college girls with a chainsaw and carrying off pieces of their bodies to create the world's first full-sized, flesh-and-blood person puzzle. The police (George and Brana) are stumped, so rather than conduct a full investigation, they recruit random faculty members to help with investigation and ask a random student to keep an eye on an officer who is sent in under cover as the school's new tennis instructor (Day). Who is the killer? The effeminate anatomy professor (Taylor)? The brutish groundskeeper (Smith)? The randy Big Man On Campus (Sera)? Or the quirky University Dean (Purdom)? Who's got bodyparts and a chainsaw hidden in their closet?

Some films are so bad they become unintentionally funny, and they end up being more funny than supposed comedies. "Pieces" may be an awful horror movie--hence the Four Tomato rating--but if it had been a slasher movie spoof, it would rate Seven Tomatoes. From the most incompetent cops ever put on film (not only do they recruite a possible suspect to watch their undercover officer, but they give him access to police files), to the least subtle serial killer to ever roam a heavily populated area (it's a residential campus, and he uses a chainsaw to kill people), to the Kung Fu fighter who shows up out of no where to attack the undercover cop for no reason what so ever, to the date-rape drug-fueled climax, "Pieces" gets funnier and funnier as it progresses. The lame, wanna-be "Goblin"-style electronica score only heightens the fun. (I'll grant the filmmakers one good scare, though. There's a bit near the end that I didn't see coming at all, and it made me jump.).

Skip any of the "Scary Movie" sequels and track down a copy of "Pieces." The unintentional comedy here is far better than anything they have to offer--the incompetent cops are priceless, and Linda Day's "Bastard!" scene is the height of unintentional comedy. Plus, if you're a teenaged boy (or just hard up), there are plenty of really sexy women wearing not a lot of clothes in the film. (Of course, they get chopped up into gory bits shortly after we get to see them topless, but that's to be expected!).