Review of Pete's Dragon (1977) by Colson V — 28 Mar 2010

Is it just me or does Disney have a habit of making adorable and loveable characters? Yes Pete's dragon, Elliot will make you grin, smile and giggle like a little schoolgirl. He makes my imaginary friend, Lucy the Loveable Lesbian, seem like a thing of the past. Sure, Elliot is adorable and cute, but wow, for being such a criticly acclaimed Disney flick, this was one long-ass movie. I'm a Disney enthusiast and I would normally jump at a chance to see a beloved Disney movie again, but wow, if I could go back in time, I would kick myself in the balls for even thinking of turning this one on. Now, all of the dozens upon dozens of loyal followers of my reviews will note,.

"Colson, you're a cynical, immature teenaged boy. Of course you won't like this movie" And to that I say, WRONG!

I own Mary Poppins, Snow White, Lady and the Tramp, Pinocchio, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Robin Hood, 101 Dalmations, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Oliver and Company and about a dozen other Disney animated movies. Look, i'm a movie enthusiast. I don't care if I have a choice between Die Hard or Snow White, i'd pick the movie that entertains me the most, which in this case would be Snow White (Yes I know, gasp and shun.). If a movie is good, I enjoy it. I don't give into peer pressure or what the public believes, I enjoy all of those aforementioned Disney flicks and that is why I own them. They are all great movies and it's dissapointing that Disney puts out a movie like Pete's Dragon, which has much lower and unreasonable quality.

Here's the plot of this whole thing: A boy named Pete and his unexplained dragon named Elliot escape a family of crazed hillbillies. Pete and Elliot then sing a sexual innuendo filled song that only cynical, immature teenaged boys like myself would understand. Then Elliot and Pete go into this town with the most unsual name ever. Elliot causes trouble and which then forces the townspeople to attack, yes attack, the poor young child. Now if you are already eiether confused or feel you are inferior to this plot, don't keep reading because it only gets worse. Next thing you know, for no real reason Elliot becomes visible (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he can turn invisible.) out in the open which startles Mickey Rooney so much that he runs into a bar and sings a song about how terrifying this dragon is. Some singing, dancing and condoning of alcoholism ensue. Pete then scolds Elliot for ruining everything and tells him that they have nowhere to go which begs two questions:

1). How did you think a gargantuan dragon would react in a villiage? Did you really think he would walk on the sidewalk and be a good little dragon?

2). You talk to an imaginary dragon that can turn invisible, i'm sure having a place to stay is the least of your problems.

Anyway, then some really hot chick played by Helen Reddy invites yours truley into their lighthouse for some angry sex while under the influence of drugs and alcohol- nevermind. I just dreamed that. What I meant to say was, Helen Reddy invites Pete into their lighthouse for some chowder or whatever, while Elliot stays in the cave on the beach. Pete and Helen Reddy then sing a song revolving around the intense sexual tension that the two encounter.

And that's what the movie is for the remainding 2 hours. You might be thinking, well, Helen Reddy is hot as shit, Elliot is entertaining and the music is somewhat tolerable, what could go wrong? Well, Pete's Dragon is one of those movies that can't be explained what is wrong with it, you just have to see it. I guess I can say that the movie just doesn't make sense. Yes I know, I shouldn't be questiong the logic of a movie about a boy's invisible and unexplained dragon and the boy's "mom" who just accepts the fact that a dragon is the kid's best friend, but most of this movie is unexplained and just plain weird. I don't know about you, but if I lived in a villiage that accepted the fact that a young boy has an invisible dragon as a best friend, I would be a little more concerned with the city's government rather than if a dragon saved a boat from a storm thus saving the town for whatever reason. Most of the plot is incoherent and there really isn't a main villian until about two-thirds into the movie. These villians have the worst motive ever and it makes no sense for there existance. The entire movie is filled with these question concerning plot holes and consistency in the story. It makes no sense and will surely force the audiences to question what director, Don Chaffey was trying to accomplish.

Yes the kiddies will laugh at Elliot's speech impedement and giggle at Helen Reddy's cleavage (Or is that just me?) but the adults will be tortured. Get ready for an overrated, boring, mess of a film.