Review of Penumbra (2013) by Johnny T — 15 Apr 2013

As in most bad horror flicks, intimations of unspeakable evil are supposed to distract us from the yawning gaps in story logic and character motivation. It's just a murky, dark mess where no one wins. Especially those of us watching it. Simply put: Darkness fails. It's about as chilling as an unplugged refrigerator. It's not even bad enough to be any fun. Some movies should never come to light, either, and Darkness, bearing a 2002 copyright, might well have been better left on the shelf. Full of shuttery jump cuts set to music cues so loud your heart can't help but convulse, Darkness should have been left to molder in Miramax's vast vault of horror-movie stiffs. The sketchy characterizations, laughable dialogue and less-than-stellar performances by the formidable cast, all of whom have done far better work in the past, provide further reasons why Darkness should never have seen the light of day. Unoriginal, frequently incomprehensible and cheaply made.

VERDICT: "Hit The Exits" - [Panned Reaction] These are some of the worst films ever made. These films do everything wrong and do it worse than bad. Audiences should never see this film under any circumstances! (Films that are rated 0.5 or 1 stars).