Review of Parental Guidance (2012) by Bo J — 26 Apr 2013

Sad that stars who have done some great stuff in the past could come together to make such a painful mess. Grandparents Crystal and Midler spend a week with ingrate daughter Tomei and three of the snottiest kids you've ever seen, all in a household drowning in politically correct BS. (Now there's a redundant phrase.) And, oh yeah, also there's an irrelevant father thrown in here somewhere, since that's the only kind of father Hollywood can conceive of anymore. What couldn't be magically hilarious about this family?

Here's what: kids that are never charming and only make you want to slap them. An OCD mother who only makes them worse. Crystal isn't allowed to cut loose until the last two minutes - and the best laughs are booger jokes. A bunch of impossible mishaps occur in no particular order until the goopy 'everybody's happy now' ending. The most engaging character is the Chinese food guy, except you're not allowed to say 'Chinese' because apparently it's racist or something.

Unbelievable that this crud made $70m. I'd guess that represents several thousand people wishing they could get those two hours back.