Review of Outlaw King (2018) by Rockon — 25 May 2021

I wanted to give this a better rating but can't because I just don't feel that Pine had enough of a hard-edged persona for the role. He has this kind of softie, aw shucks, really nice guy persona that doesn't fit. He didn't express the type of rage I would expect at key moments in the film. Not exactly the intensity of Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Which, incidentally, has been perverted. Robert the Bruce was probably the origin of that nickname. It is reasonably well-acted. Although there is a clumsy sex scene with Pine and his co-star where his butt is level with the camera and right about third eye level and you're thinking you might get a glimpse of the pucker. Which was really an unfortunate moment in the film. And at least a full second of unwanted tension. I did not want to see Chris Pine's butt hole. For the most obvious reason but also because I would wonder exactly how that was relevant to the film. I could lose sleep over something like that.

But really how do you even make a project like this when much of what is known about this King of Scotland is probably more legend than fact? How do you portray this man when nobody really has any idea of what he was like? One thing historically that is true is the shifting alliances that happened. Really I believe there is a hint of genuine history here when they mention that Bruce and the young English Prince knew each other when they were growing up. These people were so inter-related it was insane. And related to royal blood all over Europe. Everybody was somebody's cousin. All the nobles of the great houses knew each other.

Everybody who knew Bruce should have assumed two things. He's a murderer. And you might never know who he has made a deal with. So he could never be trusted. They were always making deals, breaking them, and then killing each other. Just like organized crime gangs. Which is basically what they all were. The entire island and Ireland was a grouping of Mafia Dons and the King of England was the Boss of Bosses. So if this was written properly Bruce probably should have been portrayed as a brutal tyrant. Ready to double-cross and murder anyone. Just like all the rest. Scotland may think he's a hero but he was just another killer. They were all murderers. It came with the job.