Review of Outlander (2008) by Sarah E — 20 Nov 2010

If I ever had the chance to direct a sci-fi rendition of Beowulf, I would take a few pointers from this movie. Outlander is decently shot and had a competent cinematographer. The cast is pretty solid too, what with Jesus in the lead role, Sophia Myles playing the love interest, and John "AWESOME" Hurt playing a Viking King. DUDE. Nevertheless, I would do away with the heavy-handedness of the colonial subtext and the somber mood that plagues Outlander from beginning to end. Seriously, Howard McCain, it's a movie about a humanoid alien joining forces with Norsemen to slay a great glowing alien beast. This is the kind of movie camp was invented for.

Perhaps that's why there's never been a successful adaptation of Beowulf: the story just doesn't meet contemporary standards for an epic. In fact, Beowulf begs for a sense of humour when it's translated for the screen. Just look at the treatment Neil Gaiman penned: Grendel's mother had high heels growing out of her feet. Like bonafide stilettos. It was unintentionally parodic, just like Outlander is unintentionally shitty. There's only so many unbelievable plotlines even a sci-fi buff like myself is willing to accept. Grendel being a glowing creature from another world? Alright, I'll give you that. But add another alien, one who's sorrowful about having committed mass genocide on another world for the sake of progress, and my willful suspension of disbelief says, "Fuck you." Especially where Beowulf is concerned. Let's leave it on the page, people. Clearly, it's not meant for the big screen.