Review of Orphan (2009) by Buddy A — 09 Sep 2012

"Orphan" is ritualistically horror, but at least it's the good kind. At least it doesn't go too over the top like the Friday the 13th remake or suck really bad like all of Uwe Boll's movies. It actually scared me in a fun way in parts whereas I haven't been scared of anything in a horror movie in a while. It also made me laugh when I don't even laugh during comedy movies save the complete works of Judd Apatow. "I know. They fuck" is a line that especially took me off-guard. Plus, "Orphan" is set in a very realistic world. The characters are genuine and absorbing, especially Esther (played magnificently by Isabelle Fuhrman). The viewer knows there is something wrong with this little girl and my guess was that her demeanor would play a role in the outcome of the film. I was most correct, but the ending was beyond my scope. I had a million theories as to how the film would end and every single one of them were wrong. I did not expect anything like this and I have to wager a bet that nobody else will either. Anyway, the closing moments of "Orphan" snap and crackle with unrelenting intensity. Needless to say, I was very surprised by "Orphan." "Heck yeah.".

Critics who agree:

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: "You want a good horror film about a child from hell, you got one. Do not, under any circumstances, take children to see it. Take my word on this. 3 1/2 stars.".

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: "A two-hour nervous breakdown. 75 out of 100.".

Kirk Honeycutt, The Hollywood Reporter: "Fuhrman plays pure evil with such supreme calmness that only her eyes shine with madness. Indeed, all of the child actors are superb, especially the expressive Engineer. 70 out of 100.".

Ty Burr, The Boston Globe: "The best part about Orphan is the outstandingly lunatic plot twist that kicks in just as you're checking your watch and hoping they'll wrap things up. This development--I'd love to tell you, but you wouldn't believe me--boosts the movie into overdrive for a final 20 minutes of happy, disreputable mayhem. 2 1/2 stars.".