Review of One Night with the King (2006) by Matthew Franklin C — 20 Oct 2008

I sometimes wonder whether a few stoned friends of Michael Sajbel made a bet about whether it was possible to take the most awesome, politically- and theologically-charged love story in Hebrew legend and make it into the most mind-numbingly boring and stupid movie possible - and then Michael, stoned out of his mind, took his friends up on it, and this movie was the result.

First off, let's get one thing clear: I love Esther. Esther is one of my favourite books of the Bible - the first one I read all the way through in the King James Version when I was seven, and didn't understand half of it and loved it anyway, and one which I have read over and over again since then, which is one of the reasons why this movie is so infuriating. The other is that in doing so, adding insult to injury, it completely wastes the talents of John Rhys-Davies and Omar Sharif.

The dialogue has two settings: robotic and maudlin. The set looked as though Iran had gotten into a nuclear war with the Metrosexual Architects' Union of America. Xerxes was played as a complete and utter wimp who didn't know how to put on a shirt (the first victim of MAUA's tactical strike?). The actor who played Haman obviously took his voice lessons from a Keanu Reeves clone with streptococcus.

Also, Tiffany DuPont - SAVE YOURSELF! Flee from the oppressive overlords at Gener8Xion; it's obvious you were suffering under their script and you have loads of talent that would be better employed in a real version of the Purim story!

Anyhow, that's my rant. For other fans of the Purim story - please, do yourself a favour and just read Esther again.