Review of One Million Heels B.C. (1993) by Jason D — 25 Feb 2009

The Synopsis really speaks for itself in this short film (which you can only find as a special double feature alongside the also very softcore Scream Queen Hot Tub Party DVD). A random big-tittied babe is watering her weeds at her posh Beverly Hills home and then starts watering the titties down for a long stretch of time (while the radio announces they've uncovered tons of dinosaur and human remains; because they used to live side by side, kids!!!!) She decides to go in and take off more clothes to work out while a cavewoman (Michelle Baurer, the film's "star") comes hobbling along aimlessly as she is taken aback by the world she has awoken up to.

The two girls meet and decide to take a long, homoerotic shower together (don't worry people, cavegirl already knows English). They try on lingerie until a third friend comes over (the incredibly busty Jerica Fox.

...no seriously, these titties were HUGE) and then we find out that the two Hills girls are strippers, so they do a strip for cavegirl until they all decide to take a bath together (regardless of the fact that the two prior women are already clean because of the shower they took mere minutes ago).

Then, they dress in more lingerie. You would think that will all of these nakedness, dancing, and titty scrubbing, 35 minutes would go by very fast. Not so. It seemed to go on forever. Yes, the women were including hot, but my goodness, even pornos are not this redundant.

This is well worth a watch if you are just interesting in titties and bush, but not penises or penetration. Softcore to the extreme.