Review of Once Is Not Enough (1975) by Bern S — 02 Feb 2011

If you took bland flavorless chicken and Chinese noodles and threw it against the wall, it still would not be a bland big mess compared to this film. I am frequently hard on films made "B.R"-what I like to call Before Reagan, meaning pre 1980.

Admittedly I grew up in the 1980s, I have no memory or imagery to base line the feel of the 1970s, so that leaves me to search thru the detritus of films made in this era, to look at what life was like.

And from what I have found, it was a dark, gloomy, scary world inhabited by scary, hairy individuals that spoke in a strange voice cadence and smoked alot of cigarettes. "Once is Not Enough" was my latest adventure into the time portal heading back to 1975, and as usual it was not a fun trip at all.

Based on some chicks novel, the film tells a story of a down on his luck Hollywood film producer out of work, he looks like a zombie-fied Michael Douglas..(the actor who played him is Kirk Douglas...ohhhh I see).

Anyway he has a smoking hot young 20 year old daughter named January, who has been cast away to live and study in Europe as he slept and sleazed his life away in LA. January returns home to America to find her father is now seeking her approval all the sudden, and in this effort to look "calmed down" he marries a billionaire woman, who happens to be a lesbian.

In the 70s, it wasnt cool to be a lesbian I guess because this old hag has to sneak around to luxury hotels to have sexual rendezvous with her girl toy, who is also an old cracked face haggard Mexican woman.

Bored yet? Well, the only thing that kept me going was January, (her beauty was truly amazing) and well January falls in love with some 50 year old alchoholic womanizing LA type like her father, because as we all know, girls grow up looking for a man that reminds them of their fathers.

This old whiskey swilling, hairy nasty old man plays with Januarys heart, (and body), causing her father (the zombie like Kirk Douglas) to literally go into shock and anger with her choice in men. Her father gives her an ultimatum, old drunk hairy molester, or me.

Guess who she chose?.. I won't spoil the ending, but its a yawner anyway. Final Verdict: I would rather go ahead with a root canal then be forced to watch this movie again, so call your dentist.