Review of On Deadly Ground (1994) by Fraser B — 12 Mar 2009

How do you change the essense of a man? By fighting bears and blowing shit up, of course!

I can't believe the low ratings this movie is getting. Firstly, it's an excellent action film (best. bar fight. ever.) Secondly, it has a real and worthwhile message at its core (sure it's one we're all very familiar with nowadays, thanks to the work of Al Gore, but if you ask me, this film is proof that not only was Seagal way ahead of the curve, he was also way ahead of Al Gore. Yeah, fuck documentaries; the real answers lie with the action genre!) And finally, it's insanely fucking funny.

You people marking this down on the (deadly) grounds that its a silly Seagal action movie and therefore inherently without worth ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Sure, it seems ridiculous to use action cinema as a soapbox (?) upon which to preach a message about enviromentalism. Sure, there's probably enough fire and explosions used here to fuel a hundred shitty indie movies, but you know what? Fuck that shit, sometimes people need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy (wrong movie, I know) and this movie attempted to do that (and maybe it would have succeeded if people hadn't dismissed it off-hand right away). We could all be rollin' through our respective hoodz in hydrogen cars by now if only you FOOLS had listened to Forrest Taft! Thanks for nothing, you bastards!).

I mean, it's as though there's some distinction between what art fom it's okay to stuff full of messages (fuck U2, man, they totally suck) and what is off-limits. So what if it's a shlocky genre action movie? So what if it's cheesy and demonstrates some questionable ethics (terrorism is never cool, Forrest. Next time just start a Facebook group or some shit), but does that negate the validity or significance of the message at the heart of On Deadly Ground? I don't think so. Maybe you do, but you know what? I have something you don't: superior attitude, and superior state of mind, and apparently that's all I need to come out on top, so fuck you and bring me a cheese-fuelled Aston Martin!