Review of Octopussy (1983) by Chance L — 01 Dec 2009

Merry Christmas with Bondfreak - Episode 13.

It turns out that 13 is Bond's unlucky number. In my opinion, Moore should've handed over the reigns to anyone else after For Your Eyes Only. But no. While the stupid title alone is reason not to recommend it, Octopussy returns to what handicapped previous Bond films. An overwhelming amount of silliness, a not so menacing villain and a stupid plot involving an egg. This is one Bond film that I just could not get into no matter how hard I tried and is worse than The Man With The Golden Gun.

Lets start with the pros. The stunts, as always are impressive. The opening plane sequence was very well crafted and ended in perfect Bond style. The extended train sequence was done for real with a stuntman actually jumping a pipe, hanging off the side and jumping off the train itself. That sequence is dazzling no doubt. Also the climatic sequence where Bond is hanging onto the top of a big engine airplane is believe it or not real. Done by stuntmen with parachutes hidden beneath their clothes, it was insane to watch the stuntman fight and hang on as the plane went crazy.

Unfortunately the villain Kamil Khan is not up to par with the films stunts, he comes off as more of a business man than an actual villainous fiend. And his henchman is pretty much like every other henchman we've seen. No brains, very hefty and only know hows to kill Bond. Its not engaging, threatening or menacing. Its just laughable and not even close to being scary like Jaws or Oddjob.

Now we move to aspects that didn't work. From the almost non-existant Bond girl, to the horrendous taxi chase sequence. This was just too much. With Bond's colleague giving horrible one liners that are delivered to dead silence, to the ridiculous street fights with crazy objects. This isn't thrilling this is stupid. Then using obvious camera tricks and cut aways, the action isn't even thrilling in that sequence either, very dull. Oh yeah and did I mention that all of this was over a stupid egg. There are numerous other parts that I could go into detail about; the knife brothers, the circus, Bond dressing up as a clown. But it doesn't deserve to be talked about anymore.

And even will all of this Moore has returned to hill silly roots. He is trying to hard to be funny and suave and comes off as a man you just can't take seriously. I can also say the same for the film. Aside from its always thrilling action, Octopussy is laughable and stupid in every other sense and it needed a more serious tone and more of the Bond girl and a more menacing villain to be good. Basically Octopussy just wasn't even close to enough to satisfy me. Thumbs down.