Review of Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013) by Bob13Bob — 06 Dec 2014

Don't get me wrong, I like movies about sex (lust caution, skins televisions, lolita). I'm not a prude by any standard. I like low budget creative movies (memento, millers crossing, etc); groundbreaking and breath taking. I like movies about FISHING (river runs through it). A movie with these characteristics can still be so repulsive.

The movie is a pretentious artistic porno in the worst way. An old man makes a movie about a young nympho girl, it’s worst than you’d expect. Absurd fly fishing metaphors oddly inserted throughout the narrative. Self indulgent crap fetish. All the characters ring false, unconvincing, crap dialogue, robotic. The artistic editing is awful, and it doesn't have any place with in this movie. The opening is 90sec of black screen silence, then followed by a another 90seconds of rain pattering on roof tops. There is a reason it's 5hours long. It's like an art school's student's first movie. that should be edited to 10min max.

The only hook in the movie is the audacity of sex = porno. remove the sex, and it’s obvious the characters plot are boring and trite. Young kids experimenting with sex and relationships with zero emotion. The removed all the intense lust, pain, anguish, love, impulsiveness and passion; a young person’s complex social hierarchy and how sex changes it..

It does so much disservice to it’s topic, which has the potential to be fascinating. I’ve love to see a movie about a sex obsessed young woman, that wasn’t so damn awful.