Review of Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000) by Salvador R — 23 Aug 2009

Horrible movie about a bunch of black whales who like to fart like crazy. I've put off seeing this movie for 10 years, because it looked like the stupidest film on earth, and boy was I right. Eddie Murphy plays all the characters, and he looks pretty fucking hot as Janet Jackson.

I won't even begin to explain the plot (read the fucking synopsis), but I will share with you the stupidest parts. Professor Klump gets a big boner at his wedding, ripping through his pants, and Eddie Murphy's face pops out and says "I'm back!" Later he gets a blowjob from his grandmother.

A hamster grows to behemoth size, and the dean, trying to escape, hides in a fur coat (of course) and gets raped, BESTIAL HOMOSEXUAL RAPE, by the hamster. This kind of humor would be insulting to 5-year-olds.

And why would Janet Jackson want to fuck someone that fat? Her bones would be crushed to powder. Eddie Murphy did the playing-multiple-characters thing pretty good in Norbit (which I thought was a little funny), but I think Nutty Professor II: The Klumps would make the most equal-rights minded person racist against black people.