Review of Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010) by Robert B — 03 Sep 2014

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (Joseph Guzman, 2010).

Now don't get me wrong. It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into when I started watching a movie called Nude Nuns with Big Guns. It would be kind of hard not to; the title is about as descriptive as they come. And if you go into it expecting nothing but nude nuns with big guns, you're in for a good time. That said, when I see a title like that, I see the weight of history behind it. Nunsploitation is a time-honored genre in a number of cultures ranging from Japan to Mexico (Italy, of course, is the godafather, if you'll pardon the pun, of the genre-Visconti's 1969 The Nun of Monza seems to have been the first true nunsploitation movie as we know the genre today), and I would have felt a lot better about it had I gotten the idea that co-writers Guzman and Robert James Hayes felt any sort of affection for, let alone connection with, such nunsploitation treasures as Alucarda. Instead, this feels like they found out the genre was A Thing by reading an article about it and said "hey, we can make a movie about this!" without bothering to find out, say, what's cliché, what works and what doesn't, whether nuns serve in monasteries (they don't), you know, the small things. As a result, the picture is mildly amusing for a bit, but gets old quick. **.