Review of Noah (2014) by Laffingravy — 13 Apr 2014

Personally I was divided by 'Noah'. I'm not well acquainted with the intricacies of the Bible story so I entered the cinema not really sure what to expect. I immediately, however, recognized that this rendition of the story would be embellished and changed, something I have absolutely no problem with.

I thought the first half of the movie was interesting and actually rather good. It was well shot and, as an origin story for humanity on this early version of earth, quite effective. I thought the depiction of the animals as less evolved versions of their modern counterparts was a nice touch. Taken out of context of the biblical scripture it had a good, mythical element to it's story which I appreciated. Sure there are a few inconsistencies here and there especially regarding the biology of repopulating the earth from one family (severe inbreeding... although it may explain a few things about the state of humanity now... Joke) but I was happy to overlook them as I just saw the story taking place in a parallel reality.

However, when Ray Winstone starts to get involved I thought it all went to **** In the second half of the movie Aronofsky throws his subtle camera work and interesting tale of legend out the window and replaces it with Hollywood drama and CGI bonanza. Granted, the effects look great but it was boring. Plus all the time on the Arc gave Emma Watson a chance to really show off her acting talent... of which she has none. Her constant crying or screaming in her remarkably quick childbirth were just awful.

So I'm giving it a 5. I wish Aronofsky had chosen to continue to deal with the story with the care and artistic integrity he used in the first half of the movie. It can not redeem what was simply just an awful, cliched final act.