Review of Noah (2014) by Fantasy — 30 Mar 2014

Let me preface my remarks by stating I am not one of those religious fanatics as I could care less. The public gets hosed again by the bought & paid for professional critics. This movie is so bad and boring, that you almost hope, the entire planet gets washed away.

Somewhere PT Barnum is smiling as it's true a sucker is born every minute. How can a professional critic with even an ounce of dignity not expose this film for the crap it truly is. Anthony Hopkins has about 4 minutes of screen time.

He has to be embarrassed by his performance in this dreadful movie. Russell Crowe as Noah is mentally deranged. You don't care one iota about any of the characters. Rock Monsters built the arc? Where were the transformers? LOL And just when you thought the movie is mercifully over, it goes on and on and never ends.

How ludicrous was this. It starts to rain. About a minute later the dam breaks from below ground and everyone is washed away. Why would the Creator, by the way, never mentioned as G-d, have it rain for one minute and then a minute later water is everywhere as if a broken water main.

I wouldn't watch this movie again on free TV. Avoid at all costs.