Review of Noah (2014) by Ed1Smith — 30 Mar 2014

I went with high hopes based on some early screening feedback, talk about disappointment! I expected a lot of story fill in and even some liberties on surrounding events, but most of this movie had absolutely no basis in the biblical account. Noah as presented and played by Crowe was no better than the people that were being destroyed! I am used to Hollywood presenting male characters as weak, flawed and stupid, but c'mon! Plus BORING! at least make it entertaining! Now on to the absolute lack of imagination in stealing from LOTR...The cross between Ents and Trolls that were inserted as a major story driver are not only found NOWHERE in the bible (I know they used the giant Nephilim that are mentioned, but really?}, but I fully expected as Sauron's army stormed the Ark for Gandalf to step out, plant his staff and yell 'You shall not pass!!!'. The amount of visual theft should have Jackson suing!

All in all a complete disappointment from the now ubiquitous eco-green theme, to the inserted evolution mantra(I am not a 'young earther'...but I also do not buy the evolution hypothesis that has NO support in the fossil record or cell biology), to the weak, psycho Noah, to the whole finding a mate (the bible clearly says that all 3 sons brought their spouses with them), to the Ark being built in less than 10 years by the rock monster from Galaxy Quest, to the stow away, to the snake skin talisman (what the hell?!?)...it was just all completely ridiculous and a turgid plod to an unfulfilling climax...