Review of Noah (2014) by Schmores — 30 Mar 2014

Confused, baffling, overly violent humourless and contrived, Noah suffers from a complete lack of focus and direction (other than into the belly of a difficultly realised arc) which leaves its actors struggling, its epic set pieces cold and its emotional engagement minimal.

Topped with some bizarre outfit choices, a scattering of rock monsters and Ray Winstone typecast as himself you wind up with a quasi sci-fi epic that lacks the cohesive world of Lord of the Rings (surely there was enough source material in the Bible), the gritty post apocalyptic 90s charm of Water World (wheres Dennis Hopper when you need him) and the full on visceral action of Transformers (epic titans falling from the sky sent to protect humanity anyone) all of which it shamelessly apes.

Russel Crowe appearing from the depths of a (very brief) drunken stupor wandering down a beach in a Noah era dinner jacket was really the icing on a 2 1/2 hour struggle.

From the director that brought us the amazing Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan and The Wrestler this is a depressing fall from grace.

Michael Bay all is forgiven.