Review of No Strings Attached (2011) by Colin L — 16 Jun 2014

Emma (Natalie Portman): [reads card] You give me premature ventricular contractions.

Adam (Ashton Kutcher): I'm assuming that's a good thing.

Emma (Natalie Portman): You make my heart skip a beat.

Adam (Ashton Kutcher): Aww.

This film was not entirely without merit; there were some cute moments in this film: [SPOILER ALERT] the Valentines card, the bouquet of carrots (that was awesome). Surprisingly enough Natalie Portman (Emma) and Ashton Kutcher (Adam) had pretty good on-screen chemistry. The concept was intriguing, although highly improbable (one really has to completely suspend disbelief in order to make the events in this film seem even remotely plausible. I mean, Ashton Kutcher rejecting a combination-beauty-and-brains-hottie like Natalie Portman. Chyeah! Right! In what universe?). Speaking of whom, Portman still acted so brilliant in this film, she was completely believable; while Kutcher, on the other hand, was in a complete daze and his portrayal of Adam was sadly robotic. One-trick-pony Mindy Kailing was just plain annoying. Thankfully veteran actors Kevin Kline and Cary Elwes shined in their supporting roles. So anyway, the ending was bit anti-climactic since this film was so formulaic. It was completely predictable and what ought to have been the cutest, if not most sigh-worthy line in the whole film (the "Warning: If step any closer..." line) came off as disingenuous because Kutcher's mechanical delivery, he completely botched the scene. Overall, this film wasn't horrible, but it wasn't all that great either. Bottom line is: if the male lead was played by anyone other than Kutcher, it could have been a decent film.