Review of Nine Lives (2016) by Thequietgamer — 08 Dec 2016

It's about a workaholic individual that lets his job come between him and his family. He's unaware that he is about to lose them so naturally mystical forces get involved and turn him into the family pet so that he can learn a lesson and change his ways. I don't know about you, but I think this movie has been made once before. That's right, it has! I was called The Shaggy Dog and honestly I'm pretty sure it wasn't the first one to do it.

The movie is basically the exact same premise, only this time with a cat. The same setup, morals, and outcome are all found here. The difference? That movie was funny. Not too mention plenty of other movies have used the same idea minus the part where the character turns into a house pet. We've had Adam Sandler's Click, Eddie Murphy in A Thousand Words, and The Shaggy Dog had Tim Allen. Who does Nine Lives have? Kevin Spacey...

Now don't get me wrong I am in no way criticizing Spacey's acting. The man is good. This just isn't the kind of movie he belongs in. At least with the other movies I mentioned even for all their shortcomings they had some big names in comedy backing them up.

The unoriginality, predictability, and outright laziness of the writing also extends to the humor. Literally all of the jokes boil down to watching the cat fall down, pee on something, or occasionally toss out a semi-decent one-liner. Now, this is perfectly okay for the kids out there. To be honest, it's perfectly cute and harmless. The youngsters will even be willing to overlook the movie's straight-to-DVD quality. As for the parents and older kids in the family? Yeah, let them watch this one on their own.

It's a cheaply made, lazy, disposable bit of children's entertainment. One that can keep them out of your hair for 87 minutes while you do anything else. Seriously, it sucks so I don't recommend watching it with them. But hey, it won't harm the kids in anyway as it's completely wholesome. Basically they won't notice how bad it is, but you totally will. Do with that info what you will.