Review of Next Day Air (2009) by Amanda W — 19 May 2009

Lurking beneath the surface of freshman director Benny Boomâ(TM)s derivative African-American crime comedy NEXT DAY AIR lies the not-so-subtle message that pedaling narcotics is a perilous occupation. This predictable, R-rated, 84-minute, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS clone about minority drug dealers in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, blasting holes at each other over a lost horde of heroin generates more bloodshed than buffoonery. Ironically, first-time scenarist Blair Cobbs has penned a melodramatic screenplay that casts its largely black and Hispanic actors in despicably stereotypical drug dealer roles.

Nobody boasts a shred of sympathy in NEXT DAY AIR except the protagonistâ(TM)s mother. She is literally the only character in the movie that isnâ(TM)t up to mischief. Worse, the producers have squandered the talents of one of the funniest black comedians aliveâ"Mos Defâ"a role so minor that qualifies as a cameo. Although she has been as criminally wasted in a minor role as Mos Def, it is gratifying to see Debbie Allen of FAME back in a big-screen film. Furthermore, funnyman Mike Epps usually makes even the worst comedy tolerably entertaining, but his presence does little to enliven âNext Day Air.â?

Director Benny Boom and scenarist Blair Cobbs establish in the first few minutes of NEXT DAY AIR that the misguided protagonist, Leo (Donald Faison of TVâ(TM)s SCRUBS), loves to smoke reefer. His mother, Ms. Jackson (Debbie Allen of FAME), calls her spoiled son on the carpet for his marijuana misadventures and threatens to fire him. Leo goes into a tantrum and pleads with his mom not to pink slip him. Nevertheless, the threat of being fired has little impact on him afterward because he is back to puffing pot on his delivery route in no time flat.

Meanwhile, a trio of cretinous bank robbers, Guch (Wood Harris of HBOâ(TM)s THE WIRE), Brody (Mike Epps of RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION) and Hassie (Malik Barnhardt of BELLY 2: MILLIONAIRE BOYZ CLUB), sits around their dumpy apartment and play video games. Actually, Guch and Brody do the sitting while an oblivious Hassie sprawled unconscious on a nearby couch. The filmmakers appeared to have modeled his character off the Brad Pitt slacker in TRUE ROMANCE who hung out on a sofa in his friendâ(TM)s house. Recently, these low-lives attempted a bank hold-up that went hilarious awry for the silliest of excuses. Apparently, Guch told Brody to grab the loot after they entered the bank. Instead, Brody seized the video surveillance tapes. Now, they watch the bank tapes and reprimand Brody for his incompetence.

Guch and Brody reside in the same Philadelphia apartment complex near a Puerto Rican couple, Jesus (Cisco Reyes) and Chita (Yasmin Deliz), who are anxiously awaiting a shipment of ten bricks of cocaine from a Los Angeles-based, cigar-smoking drug smuggler named Bodega (Emilio Rivera), a man who no sense of humor. Boom and Cobbs show what happens to the thugs who try to cross Bodega, and it isnâ(TM)t a pretty sight. After Bodega punished a hood from misconduct, he promoted Jesus to his position and Jesus knows that his life isnâ(TM)t worth a cent if anything untoward goes wrong through no fault of his own.

Naturally, Leo is getting high when he wheels in a giant box and delivers it to Guch and Brody. Brody cannot believe his eyes, while Guch insists that God has answered their prayers. Brody contacts his drug pedaling cousin, Shavoo (Omari Hardwick of THE GRIDIRON GANG), to sell it. Initially, Shavoo doesnâ(TM)t snap up Brodyâ(TM)s offer because he keeps a stash in a rental garage downtown, until he learns that somebody has stolen his narcotics from him. Shavoo decides to accommodate Brody, but he is suspicious about everybody since burglars hit his rental room. Meantime, Jesus calls up Bodega and reports that the merchandise hasnâ(TM)t reached him. Instantly, Bodega grows suspicious because he contacted Ms. Jacksonâ(TM)s company Next Day Air and learned that the package arrived safely at its destination.

Bodega flies into Philly with his hard-faced henchman Rhino (Lobo Sebastian of THE LONGEST YARD) who likes to get sadistic with Bodegaâ(TM)s enemies. Along with Bodega and Rhino, a desperate Jesus (Cisco Reyes) and Chita (Yasmin Deliz) set out to find Leo and clear up everything before Bodega sics Rhino on them. They catch up with Leo, still inhaling pot even when he drives his delivery truck, and Leo realizes to his horror that he did in fact deliver the package to the wrong person. At this point, pandemonium galore breaks out as everybody converges on Guchâ(TM)s apartment with guns drawn and ready to shoot first and ask questions later.

The best thing about NEXT DAY AIR is that director Boom doesnâ(TM)t wear out his welcome. On the other hand, this dud about a bunch of dimwits isnâ(TM)t exactly a laugh-a-minute merriment. The finale consists of a hardcore, Tarantino-type gun battle at close quarters, while Boom directs this uneven comedy as if he were aspiring to be a Guy Ritchie of SNATCH fame. Unfortunately, the gunfire numbers the guffaws. NEXT DAY AIR has absolutely nothing to redeem it, and this Summit Entertainment release scrapes the bottom of the barrel for the modicum of humor that it has.