Review of Never Been Kissed (1999) by Melvin W — 09 Jul 2012

Rob Geller: Wow, that was just like "Carrie"! I thought she was gonna kill us all. .

"A Comedy With Class".

Never Been Kissed is one of the sorriest excuses for a movie I have seen. It's so annoyingly joyful. It's basically one huge delusion. Hey, I can go back to high school where I never really fit in, and have a second chance. Oh, look now I'm the most popular girl in school and all the boys want to tickle my belly button from the inside(obvious Youth in Revolt allusion). But I'm still the girl I was when no one liked me. I still have a great modesty about me that I'll give up my reign on top for a fellow nerd in need. And you know what? I'll still get the guy. Give me a fucking break. Could this movie be anymore predictable and dull? Answer: Probably, but not much more.

The movie is extremely flawed in a variety of ways; some don't even pertain to the travesty they kill this plot. Their high school research was awful. These characters didn't feel like real high school students to me in the way good high school movies like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Dazed and Confused did. It feels more like their not even using cliche, but just the cliches, cliches. I know that makes no sense at all, but it is the only way to describe this film. Here's the plot. A copy editor get assigned to go undercover at a high school posing as a teenager, and find a story. When the story involves her getting in good with the cool kids, her brother comes along for the ride also posing as a student.

This is one of those romantic comedies that you have to have a vagina to watch. I'm a guy who can appreciate good, romantic movies, but when they are as tired and shamefully optimistic as this one, they can't be enjoyed by me. I'm actually a fan of Drew Barrymore, and it pains me that I hate this movie and her character as much as I do, but it's just the fact. The last scene of this movie made me nauseous at how fake and corny it was. I'm gonna put myself in front of the world and let my love come to me. Put five minutes on the clock. I wonder what's going to happen. Fuck this movie.