Review of Nerve (2016) by Brian C — 11 Oct 2016
A movie designed for teens is sure to terrible for anybody else.
Lets see the checklist:
1) Ridiculous unrealistic use of social media, check!
2) Football douches, pounding pussy, check!
3) Cheerleader slut whores, check!
4) Retarded kids being paid to commit felonies, check!
5) Absolutely no punishment for teens, check!
6) All adults are dumber than kids, check!
7) All actors have good looks. Zero value is given to actual intelligence.,, check!
8) Coward shaming, because people are fucking stupid., Check!
9) Snitches get stitches, for fucks, they actually believe this, Check!
10) Dark Web, fake nerd but is actually an idiot, Check!
11) Impossible to trace money being wired from fake banks to their bank accounts. Ya, it happened, just like how hackers make money out of thin air. Check.
12) Motorcyclist always driving around with a 2nd helmet, because plot. Check.
13) Fart jokes, check.
14) SJW stereotypical racist comments, "white people problems", because blacks cannot be racist. (JK) Check.
15) Mother gives child access to her checking account, because all parents do that. Mainly for plot. Check.
16) Child pornography is totally ok to be broadcasted online. I'm not surprised people are too stupid to figure that out. Check.
17) Retarded kids leave and get their items stolen. Not surprised. Check.
18) People pay $20 to be a retarded watcher. Every person in the movie pays to watch child pornography and worse. Check.
19) Obviously creepy watchers do not creep out the innocent girl for plot reasons... Check.
20) Illegally giving a minor a tattoo. Check.
21) Driving 60mph is busy NYC stop and go Traffic blindfolded through red lights. Almost dying several times, plot makes it romantic and not stupid. Check.
22) High schoolers drinking alcohol and smoking pot. Maybe?
23) Police are in on the "Snitches get Stitches" policy. Check.
24) Knockout game is part of the game, Aggressive assault felony. Check.
25) Felony kidnapping is part of the game. Check.
26) We find out later, Grand Theft Auto is part of the game. Check.
27) Trusting a criminal murderer is totally legit. Check.
28) Ironically. the rules are rigged, and nobody thought this was a big deal when joining the bullshit competition. Dare = put a knife into your eyeball and die. You lose. I win. Bullshit. Check.
29) Many people wearing ski-masks in warm weather and nobody cares. Check.
Quote, "Is this what you really want? For us to kill ourselves? Then shoot me, I dare you".
The bullshit ending; Moral of the story, criminal hackers will never get caught because everyone in the world is the hacker. Uh... so, nobody was the mastermind behind stealing millions of dollars via bank account hacking and more crimes? Ok, sure....
This review of Nerve (2016) was written by Brian C on 11 Oct 2016.
Nerve has generally received positive reviews.
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