Review of My Vampire Lover (2002) by Prince K — 29 Dec 2006

My Vampire Lover.

Starring: Paige Richards, Darian Caine, Misty Mundae, and Katie Jordan, and Brock Chopoli.

Director: George Freeway.

Monique (Richards) is a lonely lesbian vampire in search of a mate to share eternity with. Unfortunately, every woman she makes love to ends up a dried-up corpse. As she licks and chews and bites and sucks her way through the women of a suburban neighborhood (Mundae, Jordan, Caine, and a couple others), a dorky cable guy (Chopoli) witnesses her sending her victims to the beyond in fits of extacy and vows to rid the world of this evil vampire.

If you're looking for a vampire movie with some fairly decent lesbian love-scenes that stop just short of the line of crossing into hardcore porn, then this is the film for you. It's got Richards having sex with a succession of hot women--and there's just about a woman for every type, too (except the ugly and obese, I guess)--and when the sex is a about to start, it gets straight to the point.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers didn't think a lesbian vampire looking for love in all the right places was enough of a film like this, so they added a couple of pointless subplots about Chip the Cable Guy and a pair of police detectives who are on the trail of Monique. These parts of the movie are lamely written, badly acted, and completely pointless diversions for the only reason anyone would be getting a film like this.

Still, the sex scenes are well done, and if you're into this sort of thing, I think you may well find quite a bit of enjoyment here. (Just fast-forward past the parts without the hot women.).

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I just realized that this is the first Seduction Cinema release I haven't given a 0-rating to... and I felt it deserved a Fresh rating to boot! Either they run hot and cold, or my brain really HAS started to rot way.