Review of My Name Is Khan (2010) by Ryan N — 27 Apr 2014

This movie was awful. Forget that it was overlong, badly acted, preachy, cheesy and predictable- its worst crime is that it offends your intelligence so repeatedly and relentlessly. It tries to be a thought-provoking message movie but in the end is as dumb as any Michael Bay blockbuster, trading on ridiculous cliches and stereotypes and situations that defy any suspension of disbelief for any person who has an attachment to reality. The whole premise of the movie is ridiculous (that is, that Khan, a Muslim Indian, marries a single Hindu mother. Mother and son take his name. Son is victim of a hate crime because of his Muslim name. Wife blames Khan. Khan seeks to redeem himself by saving Americans from their prejudice not realizing the irony of that in this severely prejudiced film). The reason it is ridiculous are many, but for starters, nobody in America knows that Khan is a Muslim Indian name. Nobody would ever suffer prejudice because of this. In fact, my roommate here in Saudi Arabia (who is Pakistani Muslim and whose name is also Khan) didn't even know that. Thus, the death of the son cannot be blamed on his name and the story of rejection/redemption of Khan because of his Muslim name becomes laughably stupid. And don't even get me started on the dumb kid keeling over dead because he got hit in the stomach with a soccer ball... if the other kid can kick a soccer ball into someone's abdomen with lethal force why isn't he playing for Barcelona?Then there are the numerous scenes that are beyond stupid as they are so far removed from anything that would ever happen in the USA. There are many, but perhaps most egregious is when Khan's son is in class in a public school in California of all places and the teacher is giving a lecture about how Islam is the most evil of all religions. That would NEVER EVER happen. The teacher would be fired IMMEDIATELY, and the school system would be sued into bankruptcy by the ACLU. You KNOW that whoever wrote this movie obviously has NEVER been to the United States and is just imagining things; or worse, they are deliberately writing such scenes knowing full well that they are ludicrous because they want to paint Americans as being more prejudiced than they are, and make the Muslim heroes in the story seem like they are in a desperate situation. They could have done the same thing with realistic scenes. Like the one where the woman gets her hijab ripped off... that's unlikely... but it's at least plausible that something like that might happen. The random act of a lone racist. But a California public school lesson on the evils of Islam? Give me a break.The Michael Bay comparison starts to really set in when Khan goes to Blacky Negrosville, somewhere in Southern South Hillbilly County. Cliches and stereotypes enough to make you gag. None of which are particularly relevant to the story at all. And also there is the time/distance dilation common in Bay films. I'm reminded of the absurd scene in Transformers when they drive from the Pyramids in Egypt to Petra in Jordan seemingly in an hour or so (a trip that would take a day in real life) and at the border instead of spending 6 hours in customs like real people would they get waved through by an Oompa Loompa because he is an ignorant backward Muslim sand person who loves Americans. As offensive as that scene was (or should be) both to Arabs and anyone with a brain, the scenes in Khan that take place in the deep South are just as bad. And just like it took Bumblebee 30 minutes to drive 1000 miles in Transformers it seems like Khan can just pick up and run 2500 miles across America when it starts raining and get there before the storm is over.Again, this movie is terrible. Its message is contrite and really unnecessary, based on the lie that all Americans believe all Muslims are terrorists. In parts it assumes too little of Americans and in other parts it assumes too much (I'd say many Americans probably aren't even aware that there are a lot of Muslims in India). Its premise is ridiculous, as outlined above. And it is offensive. All of that on top of the ordinary sins of any bad movie mentioned before: bad writing, bad acting, etc.

Reading another review reminded me of another outrageously ludicrous scene: at one point Khan tries to get into a dinner to see the president and is barred because he does not belong to a Christian church. W.. T.. F... This would not have happened in 1900 much less in 2000. SO... STUPID...