Review of My Bloody Valentine (1981) by Archibald T — 14 Feb 2013

Valentine's Day is the most wonderful day of the year. Couples gather to share cards, chocolates, skimpy underwear and bodily fluids. It's a day also that lives in infamy for the depressed masses who are subjected with loneliness and having to endure the happy go lucky fuckers cheery dispositions. Yes. It's a day full of love and fucking heartache if you don't have anyone. So happy Valentine's day to those other people who have NO valentine. To those that do have a valentine good for YOU!

Luckily, there are some films that deal with the Valentine tradition in a more violent (and realistic) light. Thanks to the ever successful 'Halloween', films that dealt with certain holidays were immediately exploited for the violent gain of showing the actuality of such holidays. Take for example, Valentine's Day. In 1981, the slasher genre jumped on the Valentine's Day bandwagon by making a very, very good film called 'My Bloody Valentine'. Just the title alone makes it sound extremely watchable.

A mining accident that took place 20 years prior becomes the focal point of a legendary serial killer. The accident happened based on the overly anxious miners who were trying to get to a Valentine's day dance. It caused several of the miners their lives, but one of them was able to survive. His name was Harry Warden and every Valentine's Day he gets extremely pissed off. From that point forward, the holiday has turned into a slaughter house for anyone who celebrates it. So who do you think celebrates it? Well, flash forward to the good old 80s and you have a group of slasher bait that of all things decide to celebrate Valentine's Day. With his pick ax in hand and his menacing miners helmet complete with a light, Harry begins the slaughter of innocents on the most wonderful, loving day of the year. Go Harry!

Upon it's release it immediately had a backlash in terms of it's violence. It was called out as being too violent and maybe too intense for viewers. So much of it was cut by the MPAA and was also slapped with an X rating. Probably the greatest rating you could give a horror film because it makes you want to see it even more! Of course decades later the cut footage was re-established for a newly reinstated DVD release. Still there's speculation that it's not the entire uncut version. It's still a great slasher film with many wonderful little death scenes and a killer that is just as threatening as Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees.

So if you're looking for the perfect film to watch with your V-Day partner, may I suggest watching this film. It'll not only get their blood pumping, but it might just give them ideas on what to do with your body after tearing your heart out with a pickax. (That's a break-up reference. Have a nice day!).