Review of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) by Timothy S — 01 Aug 2011

Believe me, there's a lot not to like about "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium", but at the heart of all that's awful about this film is the lead performance from Dustin Hoffman. What drew one of our generation's greatest actors to both this role and this movie is a complete mystery and an unfortunate embarrassment. The film itself is obviously trying to be a modern day "Willy Wonka", but Hoffman seems to be playing Rainman all over again. He doesn't come off as magical so much as a homosexual retard. And I thought he had to work hard to make us all forget "Hook". Working this off could take the rest of his career.

And that brings me to the rest of this disaster. The film is insufferable and leaves way too many unanswered questions about the Magorium character. He's so desperate to be whimsical and magical that it force feeds you whimsy and magic until you're ready to puke in the aisle.

About the only positive thing this film has going for it is Natalie Portman. She's so charming and effervescent that it is virtually impossible to not like her, even in this. She easily accomplishes what the rest of the film strives for in every scene she's in. The rest of the movie is cringe-worthy. I cringed at every cutesy line of dialogue, and I cringed every time Hoffman spoke. Even the title is a cutesy, whimsical preview of what the film has to offer in abundance. "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" was obviously conceived as a holiday film future classic, but for me it was an interminable glimpse into movie Hell. If I never see another movie about a magical toy store, I'll be just fine.