Review of Movie 43 (2013) by Mattcipolla926 — 12 Jul 2013

This is a horribly made, stupid, uneven and beyond a WTF-fest. Every joke is completely immature and inane, completely relying on "offensive" jokes. It's one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen but I giggled once (I'll get into that later) but I felt like my IQ dropped 100 points afterwards. It's not necessarily due to the raunchy humor, (though that was a factor) but mostly how the entire film was witless and relied on childish jokes involving feces, bodily fluids, language and mild bestiality and incest. Some sketches were just horrendous and some were just awful. (Which one is worse? Exactly.) These are all DISGUSTING, crude, and void of any wit at all. I can laugh at crude; 21 Jump Street, Ted, and This is the End made me cry with laughter, but these are the worst things I have ever had to endure.

The one with Anna Faris and Chris Pratt was unbearably awful and made me want to shoot myself in the face; it's just one "joke" about how gross they can make dialogue about coprophilia, all while seemingly trying to harm the audience's intelligence. The iBabe sketch was really bad given how terminally stupid it was, as was the Beezel sketch given its terminal velocity of terribleness. I was disappointed by the Homeschooled sketch because the idea is actually very funny: two parents harassing their home schooled child in order to give him a true high school experience. However, that went past when it was funny and just became uncomfortable given the jokes about child abuse and mother-son and father-son incest. It truly could have been hilarious, but it just made me want to leave due to how mean-spirited and void of wit it was.

Because this is a series of sketches, the characters aren't actual characters, just actors due to the non-existent plot and non-existent character development. The cast is good, so you're watching screen saying, "That's not a character, but it's just Emma Stone, who I really like." Right after that, you become overrun with an unspeakable amount of pity and depression in regards to how all of these amazing actors and actresses are in this: the worst movie of all time. (Keep in mind that I've seen Jack and Jill and Piranha 3DD.) Speaking of Emma Stone, her sketch was the only one that had me giggle. Her banter with Kieran Culkin and their love-hate relationship and jokes actually made me chortle once, and I'll admit that. (Their arguing, "chicken-egg" debate, the Golden Girls, etc.) The Batman and Robin sketch also had *some* potential elements of funniness, such as a joke about Superman's hair and comic book references, but it was wasted away. The timing is bad and the shots in the film feel like a first take, as if they didn't even try. All mentioned moments, also, add up to about 20 seconds total. That's 0.35% of the entire "film".

Ultimately, the most depressing part of it all is that the cast is actually in this crap. They don't seem to be trying and it's documented by one of the directors/producers that no one actually wanted to be in this; it's evident due to the horrid delivery of "funny" lines. The entire cast is wasted and nowhere in the 94 minutes of trash did they ever take advantage of their incredible, funny and talented actors. This is the stupidest film of all time but I somehow giggled once. Is it a good movie? No. Never. Not at all in the slightest. In fact, it's the worst movie of all time. It has EVERYTHING wrong with Hollywood and the world in one atrocity. A-listers to cynically attract audiences (victims, really), a pile of trash that has absolutely no work put into it, no art whatsoever, a "comedy" with no laughs, and it somehow managed to make 94 minutes feel like four hours.

After you cringe two or three times due to the humor (which is all driven by making people go "ew", nothing else), you really do get bored. It's so repetitive, and I can't believe that not a single sketch was good. This could have been really good, considering the talent involved, but once they decided to make it all obscene, they should have stopped. There's no way to win. You infuriate and insult 99.99% of the audience and once they become accustomed to the beyond lowbrow "humor" that it's going for, you become numbed to it and begin to cry inside. It's lose-lose-lose. It's expected for an anthology to not be 100% great, but the ratio of miss-to-hit here is simply astounding.

Sitting through it made me a stronger person, and one of the worst parts of it was that it was so incredibly boring. This is the biggest disgrace to cinema ever, something that I love near and dear, something that is truly my passion. I used to like a ton of these actors, but I won't be able to forget their involvement in this catastrophe. At least Elizabeth Banks' sketch is halfway through the credits so most people won't see it. Also, they cut out the sketch where Anton Yelchin played a necrophiliac that would rape female bodies at the morgue at which he worked.