Review of Mortdecai (2015) by Mrmoviebuff — 16 Mar 2016

NOTE: I did not watch the entire film, I got up to the first hour and five minutes and I just gave up immediately. The only other movies I have never finished watching before were 'Catwoman' (2004) and 'The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)' (2011). Already, this is not a good sign for 'Mortdecai'.

The film, directed by David Koepp (writer of 'Jurassic Park' and 'Spider-Man') stars Johnny Depp as the title character Mortdecai. Filled with charisma, Depp gives a reliably well-rounded performance as the wealthy and eccentric character. The plot, if I can remember which I may not so forgive me, revolves around some stolen painting, and it's up to Mortdecai and Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) to investigate the situation which also had a murder involved.

Alistair Martland also has a crush on Mortdecai's wife, Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow), which is a subplot that didn't need to be there, so I don't feel the need to go back and mention it ever again. It's the same old subplot you have seen in many other funnier movies.

Mortdecai also has good protection from a tough thug whose name is, funny to say, Jock Strapp (Paul Bettany), another character that the screenplay, written by Eric Aronson, tries to make into an interesting character, but does not or fails to do so.

This film is aggressively unfunny, it tries so hard to be funny, and it just isn't. The comedy maybe timed and rehearsed, but they fall so flat, they cannot be picked back up. The actors here do an admirable job with their performances, but the running joke of Johanna refusing to kiss Mortdecai because of his mustache is unfunny, and ultimately repetitive. I know I haven't seen the film in full, but why should I? If in the first two acts of the film, I did not find myself caring, why should the third act make me care as well?

Unfunny, too stylish, and it just drags, the first hour of this film felt like 2 hours...and I just couldn't take it anymore.