Review of Mongolian Death Worm (2010) by Miyon R — 29 Jun 2011

Wow. This was bad, even for a Syfy original movie. Starting with the titular monsters, the director took a unique and bizarre cryptid (that is, a fantastical creature that some people swear really exists, e.g. bigfoot, Nessie, etc.), and turned it into a poor man's graboid from "Tremors." They're slow, they're not very tough (a couple bullets is enough to kill most of them), and they don't even carry any fearsome physiological weaponry--there's barely even lip-service given to the electrical properties that myths say the worms have. In short, they utterly fail as a credible threat. Also, worms do not generally have queens.

Then there's the cast, but the less said about them, the better. It's not entirely the actors' fault, but it's been awhile since I've seen a script packed with this many irritating and unlikable characters. Well, with one exception: the sheriff was pretty cool, even if he died a pathetic and undeserving death.

The plot is...serviceable, centering around Genghis Khan's tomb, and the effects are about what you'd expect from a Syfy original movie...until we get to see the tomb itself. I swear on my life, I thought it was just supposed to be another part of the oil refinery, and when the treasure hunter guy stumbles across it and exclaims "I knew it was here!" my jaw literally dropped in disbelief. Why, you ask? Because Genghis Khan's tomb is apparently a large room, with rows of concrete pillars, and pipes going across the ceiling. Oh, and at least one wall that's made of red brick, also featuring what appears to be a sewer access drain. This is about as bad as filming a movie in a factory and trying to pass it off as a spaceship (yes, I'm looking at you, "Space Mutiny"), or shooting a scene in your parents' basement, and trying to pass it off as a castle.

Terrible on all levels, "Mongolian Death Worm" only gets the extra half-star, because I have regrettably seen far worse films in my time.