Review of Mindhunters (2004) by Michael M — 30 Dec 2007

When 'Mindhunters' finally made it's plunge into the movie theaters, I didn't get around to see it. It was released the same week as a couple of other more appealing films and I guess I just missed it on my 'to watch' list. For the longest time I figured this was a positive thing because of the film's extremely negative buzz. 'Mindhunters', the mind-teasing thriller about six wannabe F.B.I. profilers being stalked, toyed with and murdered one by one during a field exercise, was supposed to be released in 2002, but didn't get released until early this year. When a movie is delayed release for three years it can really only mean one thing -- it is unbelievably dreadful. I rented a copy of 'Mindhunters' while on vacation in Spain two weeks ago only because it was the only new film available I didn't already see. I was expecting it to be pure trash not only because of all the distribution problems and delays, but because it was directed by one of Hollywood's most overrated and talentless hacks, Renny Harlin (remember Cutthroat Island, YUCK!). When the film was over, I have to tell you I was pleasantly surprised. 'Mindhunters' isn't a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but it entertains and offers cheesy but very fun plot twists. If you can just watch it without analyzing it, I assure all the action/gore fans out there that they will enjoy it. I know I did.

The movie follows seven F.B.I. profilers in training -- Sara (Kathryn Morris - TV's 'Cold Case'), Lucas (Jonny Lee Miller - Trainspotting), Bobby (Eion Bailey - HBO's 'Band of Brothers'), Vince (Clifton Collins, Jr. - Traffic), Rafe (Will Kemp - Van Helsing), Nicole (Patricia Velasquez - The Mummy) and J.D. (Christian Slater - Windtalkers). They are led by a tough-as-nails and dry-witted F.B.I. Psychological Profiling Trainer with unorthodox methods, Jake Harris (Val Kilmer - Spartan). Jake takes his protégés to a deserted island owned by the F.B.I. for field exercises, to put them through a final test. They will be alone on the island and will be required to solve and complete certain obstacles. Joining the seven profilers in training is the L.A.P.D.'s Gabe Jensen (LL Cool J - S.W.A.T.) who is sent from headquarters to pick up a few things from the training program. When the eight souls are alone on the island, what they think to be the training exercise begins. When one of the eight is killed, they realize it's not a training exercise at all and someone is after them. But there is only one problem -- they are the only people on the island. That is when the real mystery and fun starts to get rolling in Renny Harlin's 'Mindhunters', one of the better films on Harlin's resume.

I actually enjoyed 'Mindhunters', but I wouldn't call it a good film. It keeps you entertained, but hardly anything in the movie is original. Renny Harlin really does a so-so job directing (nothing too bad, but nothing too great either). The script is full of exhilarating and thrilling moments, but it is also jammed to the brim with tired and overused scenarios, painful to listen to dialogue and some really hoaky one-liners that you'd expect to see in an 80s Canadian Made-For-TV crime caper starring Corey Haim or Kirk Cameron. The acting is a mixed bag in 'Mindhunters', with top of the line performances from Kilmer and Slater, bottom of the barrel performances from Clifton Collins, Jr. and Patricia Velasquez, strictly average performances from Bailey and Kemp, a slightly above average performance from Kathryn Morris (the hero of the story), a more or less good performance from rapper turned actor LL Cool J and a beyond disappointing performance from the great British actor Jonny Lee Miller (once married to Hollywood psychopath Angelina Jolie) who provides us with an embarrassingly bad American accent that drifts from American to British to Southern to various unintelligible accents. I recommend renting 'Mindhunters' when it comes to American video stores if you are looking for mindless fun and don't mind some graphic and gritty aftermaths of violent deaths and a few kitty cat corpses. Grade: C+.