Review of Million Dollar Arm (2014) by Johnny L — 28 Jul 2014

Do you want your life changed?!?!?!?! Do you?!?!?! Then you need to get your arse to a theater to see this g-damn film!!!!! I wept openly at the end!!! I was in a theater full of people and I was letting out incredibly loud moans as tears streamed down my cheeks!!! Why you ask?!?!?!?! Well, I'll tell you!

The message of Million Dollar Arm is an invaluable one, and it is at the conclusion of the film that we learn it or rather that it is revealed to us! What is the message of the film you ask? If you ask me, it's this: people and human dignity are more important than money!!! Not a grand revelation by any means, but an important message to be reminded of nonetheless!!!!!!!! And, have fun in life!!! The only bad part of this story, and let us make no mistake that is a very bad, almost unforgivable, aspect of this story, is the use of USC... Nearly ruined the movie for me!! I mean, has there ever been a bigger skid mark on the fabric of society than USC???? Has there???? I honestly can't think of one! I mean USC is an institution filled with a bunch of arrogant, snot nosed, spoiled, douche bags who actually think they're better than everybody else... When in reality, the education is sub par, the neighborhood it's in is a piss infested hell hole, and the sports programs suck donkey cock!! USC represents everything that's wrong with America! Fat, arrogant, self entitled, obnoxious, capitalist morons who live their days down in the Newport Peninsula getting shitfaced every night while living off of daddy's trust fund! Absolutely pa-fucking-thetic!!!! Louis Zamperini, you know, the Olympic war hero who survived a Japanese pow camp and later became a fundamentalist Christian. Guess where Zamperini went to school??? Yep USC. Louis Zamperini went to USC so is therefore a piece of shit! Over! John Wayne went to USC. You know who else is a piece of shit? Yep, John Wayne! Why? Yep, because he went to USC! If President Obama had any balls whatsoever he's start ignoring what's happening in Ukraine, Israel/Palestine, Syria, and the backlash he's getting from Obamacare and focus 100% of his attention to nuking the shit out of that fuck hole institution off of Exposition Blvd. in LA!!!!!! Swear to Christ!!!! Fuck USC to hell! If you are a parent, dressing up your kids in USC clothes and taking them to USC games, teaching them to be fans of USC, then that is child abuse and CPS should be called on your stupid ass and your kids should be taken away! That's a fact!!! You know what, fuck Million Dollar Arm!!! It takes place on the campus of USC, therefore it's donkey shit!!! I'm now giving it one star!!!

Other than that, the acting is good, it's well written, and the story and message are uplifting... I guess you could see it, it's just a fucking shame I have to see USC every other god damn scene! God I hate the Toejams, I mean Trojans!!