Review of Men in Black 3 (2012) by Amigian — 14 Jun 2012

This is not the worst movie I have ever seen, though probably the worst that cost triple million figures to make. I don't know where that money went, since the special effects seem to have escaped from some flick from the mid to late 90s, that hand-palm CG looked no better than Scorpion's "Get over here" deal from the Mortal Kombat movie! Of course, special effects aren't the only limiting factor of any movie, but MIB III does no better on the acting or story front - Will Smith seems so subdued and robotic I found myself looking at the back of his neck for a body-snatching Alien, alas nothing doing. I doubt any intelligent actor who read the script would sign on unless a giant sack with a dollar sign was involved...hey, wait a minute, maybe that is where those hundreds of millions went! Apart from Lee Jones and Brolin, all the other actors were unfamiliar to me, most couldn't act a dime, and I am guessing the producers cheaped out on the rest of the cast because of you know...the matter of Smith's fee. The plot involving time travel is trite, underwhelming, cliche ridden...most of the effects laden action happens in the fist half of the proceedings, and then in the second things almost slow down to a crawl through Molasses, with no witty jokes, interesting exposition, good banter or anything, if by this point you haven't escaped to the Lobby and decide to stick it out you find the situation doesn't improve and the whole thing fizzles to a less than lukewarm climax. What interested me with the movie was it cribbed from some unlikely movies I have seen like Fright Night Part 2 (1988), Dead Heat (1988), and.

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey to name but a few, however MIB III doesn't even have half the energy of those movies. Most non discriminating viewers will probably have an okay time with it, it isn't out-rightly unpleasant or anything, but every aspect of the movie is so flat and dull, it tries for a sense of whimsy & wonderment but the movie is constantly at war with its own half-hardheartedness and sadly loses.