Review of Max Payne (2008) by Thequietgamer — 12 Mar 2021

A stylish, neo-noir thriller that comes off as Sin City-lite. Where Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez's comic book adaptation received praise for the originality of its stories (as well as the visuals) however, this offers a by-the-numbers revenge plot. Despite all of its references to Norse mythology, its twists and turns remain predictable throughout. In fact, the only unique thing they bring to the table are the bizarre hallucinations the characters have of demonized valkyries. Admittedly, I'm not familiar with the games this is based on outside of the first one's surprisingly incredible GBA port, but I'm pretty sure there weren't any supernatural creatures in them, imagined or not. Even if there were, it doesn't change the fact that they feel wildly out of place in this movie. They do at least provide something interesting to look at though.

Of course, there is also plenty of bombastic blockbuster action. It's serviceable, but at the same time these slow motion shootouts have got nothing on a John Woo flick. Probably serving as the best example of how Max Payne borrows competently enough from other, better films to be watchable in a turn-your-brain-off sort of way without ever managing to be truly exciting. As a matter of fact, aside from being woefully miscast with Mark Wahlberg giving a performance with literally all the acting range and emotional expressiveness of an actual block of wood and Mila Kunis being the poorest excuse for a Russian gangster I have ever seen, the real problem with this movie is that it's entirely forgettable. Perhaps not the worst complaint one could direct at this, but it's still indicative of a rather fatal flaw.