Review of Masters of the Universe (1987) by Erno K — 21 Jun 2009

O_o... Holy He-Man on a hoverboard! Did I just see that?

I had a dilemma with this one. Depending on the amount of booze and/or weed this movie could be rated anywhere between zero and five stars. Still, I chose to be brutally honest. If one movie epitomizes "so bad it's good" though, it's this one. Wow... just wow.

Bring plenty of drink, because the amount of corn and cheese will suffocate you with this bad boy. Dolph is all young and shiny, although I didn't get why he always had some dirt in his face. This film is a total ripoff of Star Wars by the way, the producers clearly acknowledged the sick amount of cash that franchise made. Think about it. There is the emperor shooting lightning, there are storm troopers, and even the ewok-type cuddly bastard character. This movie DID NOT become a franchise, I wonder why. It made the huge amount of $17 million in the box office. Even back in the eighties, that's pretty bad. I guess people aren't that stupid after all.

The actors are all hilarious. They clearly resented the movie even while filming it. No one even bothers to really give anything of themselves, they just read lines, and goddamn it, that is going to be enough! He-Man is nothing like He-Man, by the way. He shoots with his shitty little gun and runs away constantly. And why the fuck is he grinning like an idiot all the time? Really unnerving shit.

The special effects are incredibly horrible, but in this case it just adds to the entertainment value. Really, this is one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while, without even being a comedy.

Oh, and apparently the only power universe can give you is... a new hat. A shiny, new hat with antlers, though.