Review of Marmaduke (2010) by Chris S — 01 Jul 2011

Talking dogs must be Hollywood's formulaic answer to attempting to pull a family friendly blockbuster out of thin air. Nearly every live action film featuring a talking dog seems to play out similarly or at least have all the same big moments. Underdog, Scooby Doo, and the Cats & Dogs movies are all guilty of this. We see the dog(s) living it up while partaking in whatever activity they do best, things eventually go wrong, dog learns its lesson, dog does some sort of selfless act that ends up saving the day, and then there's a big, overblown, CGI infested finale featuring something like flying dogs, dancing dogs, dogs using jet packs, or something equally as unbelievable. So in walks a clumsy dog named Marmaduke that follows in the same pawprints of every dog related film before it.

The special effects don't really have any redeeming qualities about them. It's like the people who keep doing these types of movies never learn that a completely computer generated animal looks terrible when it's thrown in the real world. Marmaduke does use real animals the majority of the time, but the way the animals talk looks pretty bad. Some animals look better when they talk (Mazie) than others (Marmaduke), but it still looks awkward. It's as if they just move the bottom lip of the animal while stretching or shrinking its eyes to portray emotion. It's like a visual aid for abusive use of botox on animals or something. Not to mention they always decide to blow everything out of proportion in movies like this. It's like they have more of the budget at that point of the movie than they originally intended and they come up with this outrageous scheme to have something to appeal to younger audiences, but dog surfing and choreographed dance featuring large groups of dogs? It's not amusing, especially when you can tell it's not real animals being used. The CG is weak all around though. It's subtle when it's used to make animals talk, but it looks forced and it feels overdone in the scenes that lean on CG to be successful. There's no happy middle ground.

I hope you're a fan of bad puns. Marmaduke is practically overflowing with them. Twist my paw (arm), off the leash (chain), bone-illionaire, barkanova, chupadogra, and licking butt. Just when you think you've heard the worst one, three more pop up just as bad or worse. The cast is also filled to the brim with people overacting the entire time. Most of the actors involved probably won't be too shocking; Owen Wilson, George Lopez, and a few of the Wayans taking part sounds about right. Kiefer Sutherland playing Bosco was a bit of a shock though. Lee Pace having a large role in the movie was, too. The guy was so promising in "Pushing Daisies" and The Fall. It's disappointing to see him reduced to this. At least William H. Macy manages to act like himself in this.

I wouldn't suggest actually thinking about the story points either. It's pretty brainless. The dog park being like a high school for dogs is probably around the time you'll want to jump out of the nearest window. Then there's the dogs playing Dance Dance Revolution and dogs making gopher and horse noises. It's just hard to imagine anyone finding something so lame entertaining at all. Also, seriously, this is like the third family movie I've watched in a row featuring a heavy emphasis on urine. Is urine funny now? The whole concept seems really disgusting to me, especially since Marmaduke makes it a point to circle back around to the subject several times. The farting scenes probably didn't help matters either.

Marmaduke is just a really unpleasant excuse of a family movie. It's cliché and predictable, littered with overacting, filled with just the worst puns imaginable and borderline obscene when it comes to the amount of animal bodily fluids used throughout the movie. It's very Beethoven in tone, but even goofier and more melodramatic. Even though Marmaduke feels like every other live action talking dog film before it, the cast also feels worn out even though they all seem relatively new to being exposed to this level of atrocity. Delivering a journey that is both dull and agonizing with a destination that could barely be considered lukewarm, you'll be begging for Marmaduke to be put down long before he even has the chance to breakdance (I wish I was making that part up...).