Review of Maleficent (2014) by Corvin — 26 Jun 2014

Angelina Jolie carried it, even though she stayed evil for all of five minutes and the plot is as if a young unwed mother with an abusive ex boyfriend wrote a fairy tale. Teens fall in love, boy stabs girl in the back, or rather almost does, then changes his mind and just destroys the girl's ability to fly (someone cut off my wings, muahaha that's why I'm evil!) and soon, with the help of grandmotherly fairies, girl is raising boy's child while boy frolics in the palace and plots even more ways to destroy girl's life.

But hark, girl realizes it's okay because the kid is just too cute for words. At least Maleficent wasn't condemned to a lifetime of working at McDonald's and living on food-stamps. So happily ever after in fairy land even if the kid's father does end up splattered all over the cobblestones.