Review of Magnolia (1999) by 88Ball — 28 Sep 2020

Think of the most pretentious "symbolic allegorical" wanna-be movie you can think of. Got it? Now multiply the pretentious factor by 10, and maybe you can come close to imagining the nature of this film.

A royal waste of time. If I had paid to have watched this movie in the theatres, I would have without a doubt demanded PAYMENT for the THREE HOURS of attention I gave to this movie. I truly did not expect this from the same director which graced us with There Will Be Blood.

If you enjoy absurdism, this is the movie for you. This movie tries SO hard to be some kind of metaphorical master piece, but falls flat on its face, and the beauty of it all is that you can essentially see the exact point at which this movie drops to its knees and begs for the title of 'artistic masterpiece'- it's at the point where the members of the cast, all in different locations, have a sing-along.

But what really drove home the pointless nature of this movie was a scene near the end when a certain amphibian begins raining from the sky. I wish I could say I was not being literal in my description, but I am.

I highly dissuade one from viewing this movie, and to instead waste their time banging rocks together, because at least the latter will not cause a brain hemorrhage.