Review of Madison County (2011) by Joe J — 03 Jul 2012

The scariest thing about Madison County is how well the ads ork on making this movie look good. This coming from someone who loves horrible movies, I that hope really says something. When movies are bad due\ to acting or a goofy plot, it's horribleness is forgiveable, and laughable, But when you give it an earnest try and come up so short you can't see the finish line, there's a major problem.

The only enjoyment I got from this movie was the fact my girlfriend is afraid of pig masks. But after about 10 minutes of watching our killer in action, she too had fallen bored of it. Maybe if the pure evil pig-faced Damien [original.] was threatening at all this movie would have worked better. But that doesnt necessarily mean big and bulky or anything, maybe if he had maniacal laughter or... ANYTHING! Sometimes, when the 'monster' doesnt speak behind a mask it makes it scarier, but they're the kind who would be frightening even if they said an occassional one-liner. [Jason Vorhees = scary. Damien and Michael Meyers = not so much.].

Apparently, all you need to make a horror movie is a 'scary setting' [the country, that's only scary to people from the city] and what looks like a teenager in a mask. And of course, this movie isn't without it's cliches. Damien is beaten in the head repeatedly, to what should be to the point of death, and when the heroes run over his body to escape, Damien, OF COURSE, comes back.

The situations that these victims [the viewers are the real victims] get themselves into are so pathetically easy to get out of, or turn it in their favor, that it would make you believe the director has never even watched a horror movie before.

I must admit though, the *spoiler alert* knee breaking scene is the highlight of the film. Sure it's less then one second, but it's done nicely and catches you completely unaware.

The final seconds of the film has a shakey zoom-in onto Damien, still alive and kickin', trying to leave off for a sequel, but if there's a God there wont be another... too bad for us we'll probably be seeing Madison County: Pigs CAN Fly any time now.